An affinity group is basically any association or organization that provides support to a particular demographic: women, African Americans, Latinos, people over 65, etc.
The goal of an affinity group –- an organization for female MBAs, for example — is often to help members contend with obstacles or other situations that they are more likely to face than others, to level the playing field. Such affinity groups can help cultivate talent and leadership their ranks.
Some onlookers, however, react negatively to affinity groups. Don’t affinity groups, they ask, promote exclusion? The answer is no, if they are structured properly. But that’s an article for another day.
For now, let’s get to another intriguing question: Have you ever seen an affinity group for white men? I know of none – – on paper, that is. White male affinity groups are hardly the rage.
In fact, white men sometimes react with rage when they see affinity groups, which they view as designed for everyone but them. If you are a white man with such a sentiment, hold onto that feeling the next time someone talks to you about feeling excluded or marginalized.
Even though there are no formal white male affinity groups of which I am aware, some organizations have informal affinity groups for white men, often termed “boys’ clubs.” In the business world, the proverbial boys’ club is a powerful circle of men, usually white, whose connections and alliances help advance them within an organization or silo. An all-male board of directors or an all-male executive team may be a boys’ club. As noted below, however, numbers alone are not determinative.
How do you know if you have a boys’ club? It’s rare that you’ll find a “smoking cigar.” In most case, the club is not a creation of conscious design. Rather, it derives from an unconscious bias that remains stubbornly persistent in many parts of the corporate world. We all know that there is unknowing bias in our society. And most of us are equally certain that it does not exist in our own organizations.
The discrimination often amounts to what the EEOC refers to as a “like-me” bias. People tend to feel more comfortable with others with whom they share similarities — experiences, interests, and connections. This holds particularly true when it comes to mentoring. Leaders often mentor people who remind them of themselves in certain ways. Most white men don’t see a woman of color when they look in the mirror.
Even in organizations where men dominate in all respects, you’ll often find a sincere belief that no boys’ clubs exist. Plenty of people who drink martinis at 8 a.m. sincerely believe they don’t have an alcohol problem.
A common defense to allegations of a boys’ club is that there are women in the inner circle. But the fact that women belong doesn’t disqualify it as a boys’ club. At the danger of generalizing, the women in the club are often what I call YADs: young, attractive, and drinkers. Sometimes these women will adamantly rebut any claim that there’s a boys’ club. They may feel less certain when they find themselves excluded as they get older, are perceived as less attractive, or don’t want to keep “drinking with the guys.” Yes, alcohol is often an integral part of the boys’ club. Jack Daniels holds a membership to many.
At the same time, the fact that the governing body is predominantly male doesn’t necessarily mean that a boys’ club exists. I’ve found that many boys’ clubs live outside the governing body. Think back to high school and the “in crowd.” (If you don’t think your school had an “in crowd,” then you were in it.) The student council president often wasn’t in the “in” crowd. The same may be true of an organization’s leadership team: It could possess fair-minded, progressive officers but still have a culture dominated by a huge sales team consisting of narrow-minded jerks, for example.
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